1. I started a new (and second) job this month-- kind of my 15-year-old-self's dream job, no biggie. Wore this on my first day!
2. I went to Virginia one last time for the Sweet Briar Creative Writing Conference. This is a shot from the plane ride home. The trip was bittersweet; it was so nice to see all of my friends, and the conference was #AMAZING, but knowing that Sweet Briar is closing and there won't be another conference was pretty heartbreaking.
3. I got to hang out with my brother and see his (semi) new house! We made tacos on the grill and drank beer and hung out at the fire pit. Good, pre-Summer, summery night. This is a koozie he had at his house-- one of the house rules is "beers always get koozies... always."
4. Lilly Pulitzer for Target. The sale was crazy, but my mom and I managed to snag a bunch of good stuff. This is the "Fan Dance" dress and how I styled it. I love it with these white suede Cole Haan shoes and a jean jacket. It makes Lilly a little less Palm Beach.
I know this seems weird, but this, room, right here, is my favorite place on the Sweet Briar College campus.
Here's what else I know:
I know that yesterday, March 3, 2015, Sweet Briar College announced that it would be closing down in August of this year.
I know that I was heartbroken when I had to take a year off, and that I was crazy excited to return in the fall.
I know that I did not take full advantage of my time there, and I know that as many times as I said that I didn't want to be there, after I slogged through all my own doubt and fear, I knew that Sweet Briar was the place for me. I was proud to be there, and proud to call it home. Because that's what home is, somewhere you question and doubt and fight but in the end, it's where you're supposed to be.
I know that I will always miss it, the opportunities I had, and the people I met, who quickly became family. I am incredibly sad that I cannot be there for them and with them now. I wish I was there for Sweet Briar's last year almost as much as I wish it was not Sweet Briar's last year.
Women's colleges, and the experience that women have at them, are incredibly important, and we should word to save these places for future generations and fight to save Sweet Briar.
Save Sweet Briar for the amazing girls who go there, and the amazing women they become.
Do you ever have one of those days that feels like it's derailing everything you've been working towards? Like in one single day your whole life is being undermined?
Well, yesterday was one of those days for me. I woke up an hour late to find that the nails I had just painted the night before were already chipped. I was exhausted, and knew I had a lot of stuff to get through, including, of course, a huge history test, so I drank too much coffee, leaving me with heartburn, nausea, and jitters all day. I didn't have time to review for the history test, and my project for my Shakespeare class that I was supposed to finish up in the morning? Forget it. Plus I looked like a zombie.
To recap: yesterday was awful and I was feeling really done with everyone and everything, including myself.
But then, while on break in Art History, I opened an email from a Sweet Briar professor. I had emailed her earlier in the week letting her know how well I was doing at Portland Community College, and in life in general, and yesterday, reading her enthusiastic response, it felt like the whole email thread was mocking me. Until I read her closing.
"Onwards," she signed off. And I realized that it was just one day. My whole life wasn't derailing, this day wouldn't be the end of my entire future and everything I had worked for, it wouldn't be the end of anything. I would move onward from this day, and the next day after that, and the day after that, and so on. I would keep moving onward until I got to where I was supposed to be, until I got to who I was supposed to become.
And today? I'm in bed with a heating pad, drinking coffee, writing a blog post, catching up on some reading for Ethics, and knowing that today is just one day.
I know what you're thinking, "New Year's was 22 days ago, isn't it a little late for resolutions?" And yes, you're right. However, my birthday was on Monday, January 19th, and because my birthday is so close to the new year, I like to wait to make my resolutions until my birthday. That way, I can plan my life and my goals around my personal timeline. I know it's a little unorthodox, but I find it helpful.
SO. Here they are, my resolutions and goals for my 20th year:
1. LEARN TO WORK HARD
Over the past couple of years, especially, ahem, in high school, I feel like I've forgotten this skill. And trust me, it is such an important one. So this year I'm really going to focus on re-learning how to work hard. I need to learn how to just sit down and do something start to finish. This, for me, applies to school, work, my personal life, and also this blog.
2. LEARN TO SAVE MONEY
Let's face it, this is a skill I've never had. I love shopping too much! But now that I'm 20 years old--like, a real adult--I need to start thinking about the future a lot more, and saving money is just the beginning of that. For January and February, I'm focusing on putting $25 of every paycheck directly into savings. Hopefully in March I'll be able to put more, but I'm taking baby steps.
3. LEARN TO RELAX
Another thing I've never quite gotten the hang of. I'm literally always a ball of stress. My brain never stops going and it's exhausting. So in the new year, both 2015 and my 20th year, I'm going to spend some time trying to just relax, even if I have to schedule it.
All of these resolutions are hopefully going to help me take my 20th year by storm, which is really important to me. The idea of turning 20 is somewhat renewing-- I feel like I'm getting some real motivation in my life, especially after watching this TED Talk by Meg Jay. I'm reading her book right now too, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter-- and How to Make the Most of Them. I'm honestly kind of obsessed with her right now.
Watch her talk and TRY to tell me it doesn't motivate you to get off your butt.
